...or not to pass.

And now it’s time for a slice of humble pie. I took my driving test in Falkirk and managed to fail in the first three minutes, making the remaining 37 minutes largely an exercise in futility save for perhaps some practice in emotional restraint. I managed to mess up on my reverse parking, thanks to my late signal and a car behind that choose to back up instead of pass me. I guess it goes to show that 10 years of mostly good driving is not a good indication of whether or not one can still pass a driving exam.

On the bright side, if our appeal is rejected by the Home Office, I may be able to trade in my US license for an UK one, thus bypassing the test entirely.

One observation about the difference between an US and UK driving test is that the former is executed with the goal of allowing people to pass, while the later is executed in the hopes of identifying reasons to fail. This is of course done to keep unsafe teenagers off the streets, no doubt by some government official trying to meet a road death reduction target. It almost certainly helps to achieve this, but not in the manner intended by the government. Teenagers are unsafe drivers not because they might, Heaven forbid, signal to turn whilst simultaneously checking their mirrors instead of checking and then signaling; they are unsafe because they don’t take safety seriously while doing 80 in a 40 zone at 3:00 in the morning. They are unsafe because they talk to their friends over 172 db music and cannot see due to the fog formed inside the vehicle by the vibrations (depending on temperature, dew point, and humidity). The road is safer because it keeps some of them off the streets, period.

Having thus criticized the test, it must be said that it should be somewhat harder as driving is much more difficult in the UK than in the states thanks to the necessity of forcing 21^st century traffic on an 18^th century road system. I suppose that, should the Middle Eastern surgeons now working for the NHS ever figure out how to ignite a bomb without igniting themselves, doing to Britain what the Allies did to Germany, the British public can look forward to a modern transportation network of the first rate – traveling, of course, on the wrong side.

On Being Deported

As you may have heard, I have in fact been denied leave to remain in the United Kingdom by the Home Office. Thanks to an emergency appeal by my local MP, Eric Joyce, I may legally remain in Her Majesty’s realm for the duration of my appeal. With luck, the appeal will be processed with customary bureaucratic haste, giving me at least another 6 weeks to hang about until such time as they cut our progeny out of my wife’s tummy.

This all started back in late March, when I downloaded the forms to remain in the UK from a government website. Knowing that we would be moving house and visiting London in the weeks leading up to the deadline for renewing my visa, I thought that I would be proactive – no, seriously – and make my application early. Unfortunately, such punctuality is not permitted as one is prohibited from applying prior to 28 days before the deadline. So Morag and I packed up everything we own and, with the help of some friends, migrated to Polmont.

Once the house was settled enough that I could remove the lawn chairs from the living room, I set about on my application. I spent several nights assembling the necessary documents proving that we were indeed living together as a genuinely married couple. This, it seems, is the entire point of the second application, as one in three marriages in London in recent years has been a sham perpetrated to smuggle new individual members of the huddled mass into the country. Placing the final touches to my application on Friday evening in order to postmark by the Saturday deadline, I decided to search Algore’s information superhighway to see if I could find my Home Office number. What I discovered was that I have a notable reserve of subconscious French words which can boil to the surface when no one else is present.

At some unfortunate point during the seven weeks since I had downloaded my application, the government had decided to completely redesign the 10-month-old form, up the fee from £300 to £700, and require a “Life in the United Kingdom” test. Did they notify us, you ask? No, but they did publish it in a Home Office document back in December. Immigrants, you see, are expected to read the latest Home Office press release with their morning tea. Unsure as to whether I could still submit the now outrageously-priced £700 permanent leave to remain form, which required the new test, or if I would have to submit a £400 extension and then the £700 later, I determined to call Monday morning. Morag was out of town at the time anyway and would not make it back Saturday to sign the new documents before the post office closed early. I discovered Monday that, naturally, I needed to submit the extension as soon as possible. The essence of the problem at this point was that I owed the Home Office another £400, to which their solution was to pay yet another £400. (From what I gather, the government appears to be sheltering native citizens from the high costs of their broken asylum system by sticking it to other immigrants.) So we threw together the application and included a nice letter explaining the situation and posted it the next day.

Six weeks later, we received an improperly punctuated notification that, as my application was postmarked three days late, I have been denied leave to remain in the United Kingdom. The letter –enclosing Morag’s passport - was of course delayed by a week as they had posted it to our old address despite the new address clearly marked on the application.

We currently have three options:

1) My MP and his staff are petitioning the Home Office on our behalf to have the decision overturned on grounds that Morag is giving birth in six weeks. If anyone can persuade the Secretary of State, it is him. This would be the quickest and least-expensive solution.

2) I am seeking legal consultation on my right of appeal to the Asylum and Immigration Tribunal, an external agency that audits the decisions by the Home Office. This does not look promising at the moment; I will find out more on Monday morning.

3) Fly back to Los Angeles and re-apply from there. This could be a quick-fix option and it would be nice to see the family, but would add the price of a trans-continental flight, a 44-hour round trip, and there is no guarantee how long it might take.

Such is the situation as it stands. One might think that the Home Office would do better to weed out Benz bombers or to punish those who abuse the system and don’t give a fig about Britain or its laws, rather than deporting law-abiding fund accountants from Polmont who, despite their good-faith efforts, fail keep abreast with ever-changing and poorly-advertised regulations. But then again, the American INS is well-known neither for the high service standards provided to Americans with alien spouses, nor for its ability control flagrant immigration violations.

Please pray for a swift and inexpensive resolution of our situation.

Please support common sense immigration reforms which place family in its proper place - before the state. Such common sense is possible: Michelle recently walked in to renew her spousal visa three months past the expiration date. The German official smiled, wondered that anyone had ever emigrated from California, and renewed her visa with no hassle and at zero cost. Meanwhile, my passport is detained by a shadowy agency called the “Local Enforcement Office.” Next time, I’ll know where to relocate.

Baby Renfro May 18th, 2007

Here are the latest ultrasound images from last Friday. Everything is going well and Mummy Morag has quite a large bump as both mum and baby enter into the third trimester!

Womb Cam

Morag, baby, and I went in for an ultrasound on Monday. The doctor lady was kind enough to allow me to film a portion of it. We counted 10 fingers and 10 toes, but did not receive any indication of a 21^st digit. The doctor confirmed that everything looks fine. She spent most of the time looking at the heart, as you can see from the videos below. The baby is growing quickly and is approximately 15 cm from head to tail. I found the experience much more joyous and interesting than examining my pancreas, which was the last thing that I saw on an ultrasound.

Athur No. 1: Heart
Athur No. 2: Spin, ribs, and organs
Athur No. 3: Heartbeat
Athur No. 4: Head, ears, torso.
Athur No. 5: Torso and heart.

Wee Arthur Pictures

"Hello, world!"

Morag went for her second scan today. Both mother and baby are doing well. Baby Arthur - so named because mother refuses to give baby a cool name post-gestation - was in good form and waved for the camera.

Arthur is about 3 1/2 inches long (9cm) and weighs one and a half ounces (43 grams). Arthur can grasp, squint, frown, and suck his/her thumb. Arthur has come a long way since the 4.9 mm on January 4th (seen below):

"Just bean growing a wee while"

A more in-depth scan has indeed confirmed the child's paternity:

"Deus lo Volt!"

New sword!!!

Last week I commissioned a new sword from Albion Swords and Christian Fletcher. I have decided on a Albion generation 2 'Ritter', which was inspired by a sword I saw ten years ago in the Museum für Deutsche Geschichte, Berlin. It has a narrow fuller making it close to an Oakeshott type XI, but it is a sword that does not fall precisely into any category. The cocked-hat pommel matches one of my Del Tin models from a decade ago, creating something of a matching set. For cord-wrapped, leather-covered the grip I have chosen a dark oxblood dye. I have also asked Christian to mount a different style grip, which a buldge in the middle as is standard on the Albion 'Knight'.


Christian will make the scabbard and sword belt, which will be as show below but with a black scabbard and white sword belt, in the style of the Manesse Codex show below or at the top of this web site. The design of the integral-belt, which is light years ahead - or perhaps that should be behind! - anything available ten years ago when I was collecting - will be like the 'Ritter' set shown below, but the front strap will flare out by approximately 1/2".


The sword won't be ready for a good 5 months, and I will not be able to collect it until I come home to the states. Until then, it will remain a flashy desktop background at work.

Blueneck's Guide to Christian Symbolism

Merry Christmas MMVI! May the blessings of Christ be upon you on this anniversary of His incarnation.

One thing that has struck me this year is the total disregard of the majority of the population here in once-Great Britain toward the proper etiquette of winter holiday title usage. For goodness sake, real damage could be done! Perhaps the airlines should warn passengers travelling from metropolitan areas of the United States to cover their children's ears, lest some ignorant well-wisher disrupt her/his/its secular development with the "C" word. Perhaps British Airlines could use the woman who is no longer permitted to wear a "crucifix" at work despite the montage of tribal religious symbols now on display at every major British airport.

Speaking of Nadia Eweida, I have intended to post something about this for quite some time. Despite what you may think, I am not going to ramble on at length about the de-Christianization of Western society (for that, see above). No, the real story here is the invincible ignorance of the press regarding matters of religion and faith, and most other things besides. Time and again throughout Ms. Eweida's appeal to display the Christian symbol, the press referred to the item of jewellery as a "crucifix", despite showing a picture of Ms. Eweida wearing a plain cross with no corpus attached. Although this may seem a rather trivial error, the distinction is one that no uneducated person reared in the most nominally Christian country should miss. Is it possible that not a single reporter or editor remains at these outlets who knows the difference between a cross and a crucifix?

It is thus with great sorrow that I include the following "Blueneck's Guide to Christian Symbolism":

Ms. Eweida's cross

A crucifix

A cross

Did you put down the Latte long enough to get that?

Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween 2006 from the Renfros!
Check out the flaming pumkins here.

Also, pictures from my brother-in-law Colin I'Anson's stag weekend are now online here.

Austria

Well, Morag and I just got back from Austria. We had a great time travelling around. I got to see the imperial treasury in Vienna containing the regalia of the Holy Roman Empire such as the imperial crown from the Ottonian dynasty, the Holy Lance from the Carolingian, a ceremonial sword created for the crowning of Emperor Frederick II and the Sword of St Maurice (not to be confused with the similar Sword of St Maurice now residing in Turin, Italy), and a coronation mantle made for Roger II of Sicily. I missed the Schatzkammer last time I was in Vienna, so I was very thankful of the opportunity to see it this time around.

Morag enjoyed visiting her friend Pia in Vienna, as well as going on the "Sound of Music" tour in Salzburg and going to the Marionette Theatre . We did get to do some hiking up to a waterfall near Golling. Pia introduced us to Sturm, a fermented grape drink somewhere between grape juice and wine which is definitely worth a try. Castle Hohenwerfen is also worth a visit, with stunning views and a falconry exhibit. All in all it was a good holiday and a much needed break from working loads of overtime and weekends!

If you would like to see pictures from our holiday, they are currently available here.

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Posted by Ryan to Ryan and Morag at 9/22/2006 02:10:00 AM

Ready for California

It's two weeks until Morag and I come to California - not a minute too soon:



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Posted by Ryan to Ryan and Morag at 3/10/2006 11:43:00 AM

Morag's Birthday

Well, the Princess of Pilgrims Hill will be 26 years young tomorrow. Happy Birthday, Princess Morag!

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Posted by Ryan to Ryan and Morag at 2/16/2006 02:16:00 PM

Wedding Website

If you are interested in keeping any of the videos from our wedding website, you may wish to do so now. They will only be hosted online for a few more days. After that, the site should convert to a free site and while the pictures will remain online, all video will be available only upon request.

Hogmanay

Happy New Years! Morag and I couldn't come up with anything we wanted to do this year, so we spent the evening speaking with people in the States and working on this puzzle that Andrew and Sarah gave us as a wedding present. Hope your evening was more exciting than ours. Here we come, 2006!

Garden of Prayer by Thomas Kinkade

Christmas 2005

Merry Christmas!
Best wishes to all from Morag this Christmas. We spent Christmas this year in Stewarton before traveling down to Dalbeattie to visit the rest of her family. Hope yours was a merry one as well.

“One writer against Christmas went so far as to say that the shopkeepers for their own commercial purposes alone sustain Christmas Day. I am not sure whether he said that the shopkeepers invented Christmas Day. Perhaps he thought that the shopkeepers invented Christianity. It is a quaint picture, the secret conclave between the cheese-monger, the poulterer, and the toy-shop keeper, in order to draw up a theology that shall convert all Europe and sell some of their goods. Opponents of Christianity would believe anything except Christianity. That the shopkeepers make Christmas is about as conceivable as that the confectioners make children. It is about as sane as that milliners manufacture women.” — G. K. Chesterton, Illustrated London News, January 13, 1906.

Also, see this good article on the dark side of Christmas.

Ryan and Morag's DVD List

Want to borrow a DVD? Looking to give us a DVD but don't know if we already own it? Here's the list of our DVDs. I will do my best to keep this list updated.

13th Warrior
24: Season 5
50 First Dates
A Knight's Tale
About a Boy
Alex & Emma
Alexander
Baby Boom
Back to the Future
Back to the Future II
Back to the Future III
Ben Hur
Big
Braveheart
Calamity Jane
Chicago
Chicken Run
Chronicles of Narnia: the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
City Slickers
Conan the Barbarian
Dances with Wolves
Dirty Dancing
Dragonheart
Dragonheart: A New Beginning
Dragonslayer
Elizabethtown
Ever After
Excalibur
Failure to Launch
Flashdance
Four Weddings and a Funeral
Garfield
Gladiator
Grease
Hitch
How to Loose a Guy in 10 Days
Ivanhoe
Joan of Arc
Kate and Leopold
Kingdom of Heaven
King Arthur the Young Warlord
King Kong
Knights of the Round Table
Lawrence of Arabia
Lonesome Dove
Love Actually
Maid in Manhattan
Master and Commander: The far side of the World
Maverick
Millions
Mona Lisa Smile
Monarch of the Glen: Season I
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Moulin Rouge
Must Love Dogs
My Fair Lady
Nanny McPhee
Notting Hill
Open Range
Pirates of the Caribbean
Rent
Restoration
Rob Roy
Robin and Marian
Robin Hood (Costner)
Robin Hood (Disney)
Robin Hood (Flynn)
Romeo and Juliet
Runaway Bride
Sahara
Santa Fe Trail
Secondhand Lions
Sense and Sensibility
Seven Brides for Seven Brothers
Shakespear in Love
Shall we Dance?
Something's Gotta Give
Spider-man
Spider-man 2
Sweet Home Alabama
Swiss Family Robinson
Sword of Lancelot
The Adventures of Baron Munchausen
The Bridge of San Luis Rey
The Greatest Story Ever Told
The Last Samurai
The Legend of Zorro
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
The Magic Sword
The Mask of Zorro
The Merchant of Venice
The Musketeer
The Name of the Rose
The Notebook
The Passion of the Christ
The Return of Martin Guerre
The Sound of Music
The Ten Commandments
The Three Musketeers
The Vikings
Timeline
Tombstone
Top Gun
Tristan + Isolde
Troy
Two Weeks Notice
Van Helsing
Vanity Fair
Walk the Line
What Dreams May Come
What Women Want
Where the Heart Is
Willow
Wimbledon

Douglas and Rachel’s wedding

Morag and I went to Douglas and Rachel’s wedding over the weekend. Rachel is from Shropshire so they held the wedding there at her tiny parish church in Woolstaston. Luckily I was able to get the weekend off work, so I headed down on Friday night and met up with Morag at Church Stretton. The older Tudor buildings in Shropshire are timber framed and resemble magpies in their dark wood and whitewashed exteriors. The roads out in the countryside surrounding Woolstaston were barely wide enough for a single automobile and were bordered by seven-foot hedges on each side! It was actually safer to drive on them at night because you could at least see the headlights from the oncoming car. However this still left the challenge of one car backing up for considerable distance to let the oncoming traffic pass.
The wedding itself was lovely. The church was a recently restored country parish, complete with a set of ropes for ringing the bells at the end of the nave. Douglas’ uncle, who is a Church of Scotland minister, reversed the readings from Paul’s epistle into a warning on how to ruin your marriage. Morag and I agreed that this was much more relevant to us after six months of marriage than it would be to the actual couple. The wedding took place on Saturday, which was Guy Fawkes night, and the four-hundredth anniversary of the failed attempt to blow up the king and parliament at that. I suspect that the reason for that date was so that Douglas could ‘remember, remember, the fifth of November’ and have fireworks every year on their anniversary, but seeing as we managed to get married on St George’s day I should withhold any comments. The music was surprisingly good, with a local band playing Ceilidh/Barndance music followed by a younger band which played songs by the Beatles and even ‘Sweet Home Alabama’ with skill. Having said that, there are few things in this world that are more pathetic than a bunch of English people trying to Ceilidh. Bad things happen when one side of the dance floor dances clockwise as the other side dances counter clockwise. It just doesn’t work, folks! In the end, however, it was a good evening.

JP Morgan

Good news! I have been offered a position at JP Morgan Edinburgh as a fund accountant. Looks like I will start work next week.

"O God, my heart is fixed;
I will sing and give praise, even with my glory.
Awake, psaltery and harp: I myself will awake early.
I will praise thee, O LORD, among the people:
and I will sing praises unto thee among the nations.
For thy mercy is great above the heavens:
and thy truth reacheth unto the clouds.
Be thou exalted, O God, above the heavens:
and thy glory above all the earth;
That thy beloved may be delivered:
save with thy right hand, and answer me. "
-Psalm 108

Interviews

I had two job interviews on Thursday. It appears things may be picking up in the financial job market around here. Prayers are welcomed!

Wee Sir Thomas

Chris and Katie’s son, Thomas Paul Hennigan, arrived on September 6^th, 2005. Congratulations! (Does anyone else think he looks like a Franciscan friar?)

Wedding Website Launch!

The Ryan and Morag Wedding website launches today. We had a few unsuccessful attempts during the last few weeks when a few tiles broke loose, but everything appears to be in working order now. Enjoy!